he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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