Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
