ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Operation Purity has been aborted
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Two words: blizzard sex
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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