You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
