He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
