Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
