I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
