Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
