So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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