Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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