I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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