if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
