I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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