I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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