Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My vagina is officially offended.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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