Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
why is half of my head shaved?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
