I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
