I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
