My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
If I die, sorry about rent.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
