Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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