If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize