No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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