I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
