okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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