The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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