I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i barfeds in our rink
She announced her abortion via fbk
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
