I must be too annoying 4 u.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Randomize
