After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
