after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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