Banned from zoo.
Again?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize