When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
