yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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