I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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