im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
