Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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