dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
