party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
