Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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