I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
