so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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