Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
