PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
