So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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