Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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