what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize