how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
