there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize