new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Your topless pictures make me question reality
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Randomize
