don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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