therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
