Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize