Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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