Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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