i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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