I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
