I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
my poor anus
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
