when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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