I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
