So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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