girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
please come you make the beer taste better
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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