Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
