he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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