i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
