i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
